HOW I MANAGE BLOGGING WITH A TODDLER

This is one of the most popular question asked by mothers that "HOW DO I MANAGE WRITING BLOGS WITH A TODDLER". Being a wife and a mother is a full time responsibility. I will not use the word job here as job is payed but this duty of motherhood and giving your best to your husband cannot be payed in any form. Do you agree moms? (Comment down below and Share your favorite time with your family)

So starting with the time when I started blogging, I was pregnant. so most of the time I was free. I was studying Psychology (doing my bachelors). Inspired by my psychology teacher, I started writing blogs on psychology as a subject. Then there was time when I was not able to write any blog due to my pregnancy, delivery and busy schedule. Almost after 1 and a half year, I came back to the blogging world again and Trust me I am working so hard to manage my blogs but I could not. (need some motivation) 

This time there was a lot change in my interest and my priorities. I was done with my bachelors and had entered the world of motherhood. These days were amazing, so much to learn and experience. There I thought to share my life with the world, about what I was experiencing and how I learned. It was very difficult for me to handle everything, but living in a joined family helped me a lot. There were nights where my mother in law use to take my daughter with her during midnights so that I could sleep. My husband use to play with her so that I could rest. It was definitely not easy for us, But WE SUCCEEDED ALHAMDOLILLAH.

Right now it is the most difficult of all, Managing with a toddler and taking out time to think about topics for blogging and then writing it. Being with a toddler you asked: "YES IT IS DAMN TIRING" . Running around the house with her, Cleaning her toys and room,  coming up with different activity to make her busy, Reading books with her, Limiting her Screen time (still working on this). and more. And then,  with that writing blogs is not an easy task. But I like taking Challenges. Right now, I am editing this blog which has been written 2 weeks ago. My daughter is sleeping and a man is fixing my curtains in my room. I am lying on a sofa in my drawing room and doing a final checking of the blog on my phone as I left my laptop in my room. 

So this is how I manage writing. Writing itself is not difficult then taking out some "ME" time for myself. This "ME"  time is what sometimes gives me chance to write and most of the time it is just used as cleaning or organizing my cupboard, or putting toys back. 

"Enjoy your best with your child 'cause that is what they will remember and you will miss".

Share Your Experience with me and I will share it with the world. 

Postpartum Depression

You would have heard about hormonal changes during and after pregnancy, nesting, labor, delivery, postpartum care and other painful stuff but were you ever told about POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION commonly known as PPD. It is one of the painful stage after labor pain and Delivery, or I should say worst than that because those are just physical pains but PPD is mental disturbance which affects our emotions. 

SYMPTOMS:

Mothers with postpartum depression experience feelings of utmost sadness, anxiety, and exhaustion which will make it difficult for them to finish daily care activities for themselves or for others. 

• Feeling sad, hopeless, empty, or overwhelmed
• Crying more often than usual or for no apparent reason
• Worrying or feeling overly anxious
• Feeling moody, irritable, or restless
• Oversleeping, or being unable to sleep even when her baby is asleep
• Having trouble concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• Experiencing anger or rage
• Losing interest in activities that are usually enjoyable
• Suffering from physical aches and pains, including frequent headaches, stomach problems, and muscle pain
• Eating too little or too much
• Withdrawing from or avoiding friends and family
• Having trouble bonding or forming an emotional attachment together with her baby
• Persistently doubting her ability to worry for her baby
• Thinking about harming herself or her baby.

CAUSES:

After childbirth, the amount of hormones (estrogen and progesterone) during a woman’s body quickly drop. This results in chemical changes in her brain which will trigger mood swings. In addition, many mothers are unable to urge the remainder they have to completely get over parturition . Constant sleep deprivation can cause physical discomfort and exhaustion, which may contribute to the symptoms of postpartum depression.

TREATMENT:

There are effective treatments for postpartum depression. A woman’s health care provider can help her choose the simplest treatment, which can include:

Counseling/Talk Therapy: This treatment involves talking one-on-one with a mental health professional (a counselor, therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or social worker). Two sorts of counseling shown to be particularly effective in treating postpartum depression are

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps people recognize and alter their negative thoughts and behaviors.

Interpersonal therapy (IPT), which helps people understand and work through problematic personal relationships.

Medication: Antidepressant medications act on the brain chemicals that are involved in mood regulation. Many antidepressants take a few weeks to be most effective. While these medications are generally considered safe to use during breastfeeding, a lady should ask her health care provider about the risks and benefits to both herself and her baby.

In my next blog I will share my story with you guys. How I came to know about PPD. Who told me about PPD. Stay tuned. Share this blog with others so that new mothers could be aware about it. Share Your Experience with me and I will share it with the world.moattarbhojani@gmail.com

Teaching My Baby Sign Language

My journey of Teaching my daughter Sign language was not so difficult but at the same time not so helpful. I faced few problems in this journey but it taught me few things too.

One of the most fundamental human desires is to be understood, research has shown baby sign language can reduce frustration for babies and parents by providing a means for babies to communicate before their vocal cords have developed for speech.

I started teaching my daughter to sign when she was 6 months. I use to tell her words with action which eventually taught her to sign when I say those words. Like, PLEASE;

 the action for please is to move your hand around your chest in a circular motion.

Unlike other parents, When I heard about sign Language, and its benefits, I studied about it and find it unique. I wanted to give it a try. As she was around 6 months I started talking to her with different signs. Like, more, all done, Thank you, sorry and please. I use to sing poems to her with actions.
At 10 months she was signing different words and poems.
But Eventually There were 2 main problem which I faced. First, my society didn't have knowledge about sign language, so introducing sign language was very difficult and then it was getting harder for me to tell my family members what my daughter is signing. Second, it was delaying her speech. She was saying nothing. Other than mama, tata or baba. This is the link where you can see a year old baby saying few words and signing. (that is what inspired me)

WHEN DID I REALIZED THAT IT WAS DELAYING HER SPEECH?
One day, it was evening, I was sitting with my daughter on my bed and I was singing poem to her, baby baby, yes mama, eating sugar, no mama, telling lies, no mama, open your mouth, and she said HAA HAA HAA!!! and I was amazed, WOW she sang her first poem.
I told my mother in law that today she said the end words of her poem. And she said, "yes I taught her". And I was like, she can say, she can talk and here I am teaching her to sign. Then onwards I stop teaching her signs and Now Alhamdolillah she is 14 months old and can tell sounds of different animals and different words like WOW, NO, dedo (give me), mera hai (it is mine), dada and dadi (Grandfather and Grandmother), Kha, Pho and AAni (aunt). baboo baboo (when she has done poopoo) and many other words, which helps her to communicate with us.

Here is the link of my instagram page where I will share my daughter's video in stories, which will be saved in highlights, where she is signing at 10 months and saying words in 14 months. Follow my page, as I will be posting amazing stuff in the next coming weeks.

So in my opinion I think we as a parent we should teach our child in both the ways. It is the child who picks how he/she wants to be taught. Sign Language is very beneficial for the kids who cannot speak or are late Speakers, this language can help them not to frustrate and express their feeling. What are your opinion on this blog? Don not forget to like and Share.

Share Your Experience with me and I will share it with the world. You can ask anything regarding sign language.

IMPORTANT UPDATE NO.2

Hi Mothers, teachers and Readers....
This blog is for some updates on how much are liking these topics. Comment Frankly.
8 steps to happiness is the 2nd last blog of Week 1 lesson. Do you guys want me to continue with that or try something different. If you guys have any opinion comment down below or email me you are welcome. Up till now Readers have asked me to write on few topics. Below I am writing some topics which I have been asked.

• Postpartum Depression
• Stigma Against Mental Disorder
• Developmental Psychology
• Child Psychology
• How I Manage to write blog with a toddler
• Sharing My Journey of Motherhood
• Sign Language

Other than this, Do you guys want me to add some pictures and Videos to make it attractive?
 Show some love and give me your feedback. On Thursday I will do polling on my Facebook account https://www.facebook.com/moattarfatima.bhojani regarding topics. I am also sharing my Facebook page where I Share all my updates and and Quotes.

8 STEPS TO HAPPINESS

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” 

― Dalai Lama XIV

The relationship of happiness to well being to connected-ness are all fascinating. Professor Anthony Grant has worked with the crew which develop a simple 8 step program which people can apply in their daily life. Here I am sharing some idea about that program.

1. Linking Goals And Values: One of the biggest mistake which people do is they don't connect them to their values, what really resonates for you as an individual. It is important for us to differentiate between what are the things that we value in our life with the things that society or other people say that we should value.
2. Do Things For Other People: The act of kindness is a powerful way to kind a feel a bit more connected to people and world. For Example; you are driving through city traffic and people are cutting in front of you, take a moment and let them get in front of your car. It only counts as an act of kindness if you don't expect a thank-you.
3. Mindfulness Or Mindful Living: When we talk about mindfulness the first thing which comes in our mind is meditation and that is an important part of mindfulness but that doesn't mean sitting at a place and meditate in order to engage mindful living. Mindfulness is about being here and now. For Example; As we go around our daily life instead of having our head all over the place. Think about what we need to do next, bring your attention back to now, focus on your breathing and feel your self settle into your body.  
4. Focusing On Strength And The Solutions: Thinking about how you can get to where you want to go is actually a lot more helpful than listening to the negative self talk and focusing on the problem analysis and things that might go wrong.
5. Engage Gratitude Exercises: Taking time to actually express gratitude, taking time to savor the moment and appreciate what we have, really helps us boost our well being. It allows us to appreciate what really matters in our life.
6. Forgiveness: Take some to write, sit down and write out a letter that you forgive that you can see from their point of view. Now that is very hard to do, you don't have to post the letter. but somehow expressing your forgiveness actually externalizes it again.
7. Notion Social Networks: So if we live in a world where there is limited social networks, I would encourage you to see how you can expand them. It means enriching the connections with the people that you do have.
8. Reflect, Review And Renew: What we really need to do very often is to stop, and reflect and review where we are. What are my values? how have they changed?what am I doing? what is working for me? what is not? This is actually very powerful stuff, through this we can renew ourselves.

These are the simple 8 steps. but always remember it is very rare for somebody to go from extremely depressed to brilliantly happy, or to become from very introvert or reflected person to a huge extroverted person. Change take work and repetition, we need to be satisfied with small steps. It is useful to have a big goal, but focus on the small steps and be satisfied with the small steps, because actually that's the only change we can really make. Take time to review and reflect on what you have done.

RECOVERY PERSPECTIVE

We live in a world where many people experiences mental distress. Our community includes many people who sees visions, hear voices or have uncommon beliefs. Same like that, there are such people which has overcome their sadness or fear. There are many different reason behind mental illness.

• Some distress are linked to their childhood  or past trauma
• Some distress are linked with their current life
• Some people believes it is a medical illness which could be genetically inherited or due to changes in brain's chemicals
• Some says it may be the result of the combination of all the factors or any of them

The most effective approach to mental health care is based on the concept of  PERSONAL RECOVERY. It is different to clinical recovery. So the main focus of this recovery is how a person wants to live his life, a life with meaning and purpose. Each person's recovery is unique and holistic.

This approach focuses on what a person wants for their mental wellbeing, physical health, spiritual life and working life. It also includes pursuing personal interests, values and goals. Personal recovery is achievable for everyone. It recognizes that people have the ability to manage distressing experiences and follow their dreams themselves and with the support of others. 

A mental health diagnosis should never over shadow a person's true identity made up of their life roles, talents, characteristics and personality. We should try not to make a diagnosis, a person's identity. For example, it is okay to say a person is diagnosed with schizophrenia or diagnosed with bipolar disorder, because they are medical term for such experience, but it is not okay to call someone schizophrenic, or manic depressive or a borderline. Names like this reduces human beings hopes, dreams and strengths to nothing more than a disease.

There are some great people who has achieved great success in their life but has lived with extreme emotional experience such as Isaac Newton and Winston Churchill.

REDUCING STRESS PART 2

MUSCLES TENSION EXERCISE

When you are feeling anxious, your muscles become tense. When your muscles remain tense for long periods, you'll start to develop aches and pains, fatigue, headaches and difficulty breathing. 
Take a few minutes to do this exercise. It will assist you understand how muscle tension can cause pain and fatigue. 

1. Hold a bit of paper in your hand and stretch your arm call at front of you. 
2. Keep holding the paper for a couple of minutes without moving your arm. 

You will probably notice that your arm feels tired after only a couple of minutes and should even start to ache in some places. Imagine how your arm would feel if you continued to carry that piece of paper for variety of hours. Although the paper isn't heavy, keeping your muscles tense for any length of your time can cause pain

MUSCLES RELAXATION EXERCISE

This exercise helps to scale back physical and mental tension. Practise this exercise regularly and at the primary signs of muscle tension. 

1. Sit during a comfortable chair during a quiet room 
2. Put your feet flat on the floor and rest your hands in your lap 
3. Close your eyes 
4. Do the slow breathing exercise for 3 minutes
5. After three minutes of slow breathing, start the muscle relaxation exercise below 
6. Tense each of your muscle groups for 10 seconds, then relax for 10 seconds, within the following order:

 Hands: clench your hands into fists, then relax 
 Lower arms: bend your hands up at the wrists, then relax 
 Upper arms: bend your arms up at the elbow, then relax 
 Shoulders: lift your shoulders up, then relax 
 Neck: stretch your neck gently to the left, then forward, then to the proper , then backwards during a slow rolling motion, then relax 
 Forehead and scalp: raise your eyebrows, then relax 
 Eyes: close your eyes tightly, then relax 
 Jaw: clench your teeth, then relax 
 Chest: inhale deeply, then exhale and relax 
 Stomach: pull your tummy in, then relax 
 Upper back: pull your shoulders forward, then relax 
 Lower back: while sitting, roll your back to a smooth arc, then relax 
 Buttocks: tighten your buttocks, then relax 
 Thighs: push your feet firmly into the ground , then relax
 Calves: lift your toes off the bottom , then relax and 
 Feet: gently curl your toes down, then relax. 

7. Continue slow breathing for five more minutes, enjoying the sensation of relaxation 
8. As you become better at relaxation, it are often more interesting to mix these exercises with memories of relaxing situations eg. lying on a beach or doing a favorite activity. 

A full session of relaxation takes about 15 to 20 minutes. Once you're good at relaxing your muscles, start relaxing tense parts of your body during the day while you're going about your daily activities.